Yep… 2 days into being 40 I am going to have to conclude that I am the most inconsistent person to have ever walked this planet (probably).
I sort of hoped that 40 would bring with it some form of antidote to this one as I know it is an ingredient of ‘success’ but hey ho… here I am skipping my writing which is something I REALLY want to do on a daily basis.
But as with all my flaws (as the world would have me believe but we know they are actually super powers) I wish to put a positive spin on this.
You see us creatives do not want to be confined.. our brains are up in the sky dreaming of the impossible in ways which make it possible. We posses an incredible gift, one which the world needs now more than ever but hat we struggle with is to be consistent.
Part of this is that when we settle into boredom or the mundane (which routine and consistency can breed) our brain sees it as a green light to start dreaming again and coming up with something new. So we can’t stick at the routine for long before we have something even bigger and better than before…
…so many times I have thought.. YES YES YES this is IT… like this is THE idea which will see me through. I LOVE it… it says EVERYTHING I want it to say and yet give me a month and I will have bettered it and moved on to something even greater in my mind.
To the outside world this is seen as inconsistent. This is seen as flakey and this is seen as a flaw. But why oh why would we stick with an old idea if the new one is even better.
Hence why the motor car has improved (?!) year after year… why new models of the iPhone come out over and over again.
Human beings keep improving things and that is just what our brain is doing in creative ways.
The thing which causes us an issue is that sometimes our ideas are not hinged together. So the newer and newer IPhone is still the same beast underneath… they just keep adding to it. The world around them knows what to expect and how to explain what it is and all they are doing are adding bells and whistles to an already fabulous thing.
So as creatives our task is to find that underlining string which pulls all our genius ideas together rather than floating around like some hallucinogenic mad man. But let me be clear … I believe you NEED this weird messy time in order to settle onto what your soul is here to do. Don’t fight it and don’t bring a deadline into play. Let it play out and try and enjoy the ride.
I have been criticised by people as I keep changing.. that it is messy on the outside and people will wonder what the hell I am doing as I kept launching over and over again. I have been told that I have confused everything and everyone which made me feel like giving up.
When I look back everything was always for the same purpose. To help people. To help creatives. To help brave women and to help Mothers. Basically in anyway I can from my experience, my genuine passion to see women succeed despite the incredible workload we have been gifted and to be there for people when they struggle as I struggle too.
Perhaps I kept getting cold feet or feeling that I wasn’t enough to see the ideas forward or perhaps it was part of the development process. Most people do this behind closed doors but I like to be out there and giving it a go. Yes this can be messy to onlookers but boy is it quicker.. I think they term it “failing forward” but we know that failing it is not.
But either way I keep dancing around the central theme… the central thing which is dear to my heart… I can do it in any way I can conceive but now is the time to start bringing it together… to be consistent to my theme while allowing myself to breath, to dance and to celebrate each revision of my ideas, each new off shoot and each new radical departure from the norm.
That is my current task to bring all the ideas together to sit together in a beautiful cauldron of ideas and offers.
I need to find a way for us creatives to stay true to our calling, to show up consistently so we are not confusing everyone around us (as I have been doing) while feeling as free as a bird to do what the hell we want.
While structure and routine is something us creatives REALLY don’t want.. it is sort of something we NEED in order to thrive. So it is finding a way for it to feel good at the same time so we have half a chance to stick to it.
Anyway I am due on a discovery call in 5 mins so best dash but before I do…
Don’t fight who you are, the way you think or what you believe. Start to embrace the messy, the weird and the inconsistency which appears. Love yourself enough to allow it to flow, to dance with the ideas in public and to reject the pressure to ‘settle’ down with any old idea before you are truly ready… and perhaps you will never be ready and that is ok too.
Sending lots of love