Stop overthinking it

I have had this conversation over and over and over again in the past week.

STOP OVER THINKING IT & JUST DO IT…

This has been said to me AND I have said it to the ladies I mentor.

I think we try and work it all out consciously and intellectually before we feel brave enough to take action…. and yet often the best way to feel brave is to take action.

So don’t allow your brain to stop you in your tracks… find a way to get around those thoughts and learn to flex those brave muscles just because you can.

If you have a phone call to make… just dial the number and trust the words will come.

If you want to write an email then just start writing.

If you want to start a business then just start making a plan and do a small thing from that plan…and then another. Don’t worry if it is the right thing or the wrong thing at this stage.. as long as you are doing a thing.

Same with food and exercise. Don’t get stuck in analysis paralysis… just do something for yourself and the details will work themselves out later.

So what are you over thinking at the moment? What could you just do right now if there was no right or wrong decision.. if whatever you did would take you closer to where you want to go.

Trust in yourself lovely… it will always work out ❤ Hasn’t it so far?

With love

V x

The battle of parenting

Hey lovely! So this weekend I have been pondering on why parenting is so bloody hard and here is what I believe…

Our job is to keep our kids safe.. to help them get stuff done and to evolve into functioning adults so they can survive this crazy world.

Their job is to play.

And so the daily battles of doing their teeth, getting dressed, doing homework cycle in a frustrating circle of black clouds over the house continues.

I try and educate my kids about my job… tell them that I want them to get a good job to afford a nice life but this means NOTHING to them.

They just want to play and they are pissed at me because I am stopping them.

I was probably equally pissed at my parents too. It isn’t until you have kids you need protect that you realise just what a hard job it bloody was for them and what spoilt brats you were to them (yep I was a pain in the bum!)

So if they are outside playing somewhere my job feels like I need to keep them safe. If I see them do something dangerous then I will try and stop them. All they see is me stopping all their fun.

My eldest seems to be permanently annoyed with me because I am trying to parent him. I would love a sliding doors opportunity to see how they would turn out without any parenting at all… There is a good chance they may be ok… but we can’t take that risk with something which is so precious.

Sorry I don’t have answers to this riddle but wanted to share why this feels so hard as we continue to beat our heads against a brick wall. It will pay off and they WILL appreciate it when they are older and have kids on the own but in the mean time we just have to continue to keep them alive as best as we can (and against their will at times!)

It’s a tough job but also such an honour to get to be someone’s own guardian angel here on earth.. which is essentially what we are…yes it is thankless but our thanks will come later in ways we can not even imagine ❤

Hugs strong mamma… we’ve got this!

V xx

Why is it so hard?

I have just written a blog post over on CreateMore.Space about the importance of our thoughts but why is it so hard?

Why do I struggle so much to keep my head clean and healthy? to keep buoyant and happy?

Why can’t i fully commit?

Why can’t I fully believe?

I have seen many practitioners who operate on the side of the woo-woo (the stuff we struggle to explain) and I say to them that I wish I full believed but a part of me holds back and questions it all. They tell me it is totally normal and they were the same until they had an experience which left no doubt.

Wouldn’t it be lovely for this to be our only job in the world? To learn to think happy thoughts, to believe in our creator (I am not religious but we didn’t just happen by accident)

I have been meditating loads and yet most evenings recently I get to bed time and I can’t be arsed to turn the computer on and fire up the audio… and yet if I committed to there then it would be no question…

That is what I am aiming for… complete mastery over my life.. at the moment I feel like the black dog controls my strings and it is telling me consistently not to bother. That nothing is worth the effort and I may as well sit and stare at Netflix instead.

I don’t want that for my life and so the battle continues… the battle between the life I want and the life which is happening with no effort atall… I have a great life already but what I dream of is magical… I just wish I could commit to being all in to see it through to reality…. I guess all we can do it keep trying and hold the vision until we have an experience which leaves no room for doubt ❤

V xxx

Sometimes you just have to do it anyway

So I could have easily have sacked off my yoga class just now. It would have been so much easier for me to sit and go through my growing inbox (I like to keep it cleared down to as close to zero as possible) BUT I have made a commitment to myself to exercise a few times a week and if I skipped this ONE class it would be a slippery slope to miss more and more.

So I put myself into a position where I HAD to go. I had no choice but to go… I owed it to myself to honour the commitment I made myself as I would make to my children.

So the first step is to make the commitment to yourself to make those changes you want to see and the second step is to love yourself enough to keep those promises…

I have learnt that it becomes increasingly hard to love someone who continues to let you down… so make that your first step. Make a commitment… even a small one and follow that though… and repeat until you know that your word to yourself is one you can trust..

And finally give yourself a break if you do let yourself down… we are human after all and we are allowed to slip up BUT don’t let that be the pattern.. let your commitment to your well being be the pattern. That means following your decisions through but also talking to ourselves like the delicate flower that we are when we balls up. Because we will.. often 😉 But all that matters is that you are doing your best ❤

V xx

40 and as inconsistent as ever

Yep… 2 days into being 40 I am going to have to conclude that I am the most inconsistent person to have ever walked this planet (probably).

I sort of hoped that 40 would bring with it some form of antidote to this one as I know it is an ingredient of ‘success’ but hey ho… here I am skipping my writing which is something I REALLY want to do on a daily basis.

But as with all my flaws (as the world would have me believe but we know they are actually super powers) I wish to put a positive spin on this.

You see us creatives do not want to be confined.. our brains are up in the sky dreaming of the impossible in ways which make it possible. We posses an incredible gift, one which the world needs now more than ever but hat we struggle with is to be consistent.

Part of this is that when we settle into boredom or the mundane (which routine and consistency can breed) our brain sees it as a green light to start dreaming again and coming up with something new. So we can’t stick at the routine for long before we have something even bigger and better than before…

…so many times I have thought.. YES YES YES this is IT… like this is THE idea which will see me through. I LOVE it… it says EVERYTHING I want it to say and yet give me a month and I will have bettered it and moved on to something even greater in my mind.

To the outside world this is seen as inconsistent. This is seen as flakey and this is seen as a flaw. But why oh why would we stick with an old idea if the new one is even better.

Hence why the motor car has improved (?!) year after year… why new models of the iPhone come out over and over again.

Human beings keep improving things and that is just what our brain is doing in creative ways.

The thing which causes us an issue is that sometimes our ideas are not hinged together. So the newer and newer IPhone is still the same beast underneath… they just keep adding to it. The world around them knows what to expect and how to explain what it is and all they are doing are adding bells and whistles to an already fabulous thing.

So as creatives our task is to find that underlining string which pulls all our genius ideas together rather than floating around like some hallucinogenic mad man. But let me be clear … I believe you NEED this weird messy time in order to settle onto what your soul is here to do. Don’t fight it and don’t bring a deadline into play. Let it play out and try and enjoy the ride.

I have been criticised by people as I keep changing.. that it is messy on the outside and people will wonder what the hell I am doing as I kept launching over and over again. I have been told that I have confused everything and everyone which made me feel like giving up.

When I look back everything was always for the same purpose. To help people. To help creatives. To help brave women and to help Mothers. Basically in anyway I can from my experience, my genuine passion to see women succeed despite the incredible workload we have been gifted and to be there for people when they struggle as I struggle too.

Perhaps I kept getting cold feet or feeling that I wasn’t enough to see the ideas forward or perhaps it was part of the development process. Most people do this behind closed doors but I like to be out there and giving it a go. Yes this can be messy to onlookers but boy is it quicker.. I think they term it “failing forward” but we know that failing it is not.

But either way I keep dancing around the central theme… the central thing which is dear to my heart… I can do it in any way I can conceive but now is the time to start bringing it together… to be consistent to my theme while allowing myself to breath, to dance and to celebrate each revision of my ideas, each new off shoot and each new radical departure from the norm.

That is my current task to bring all the ideas together to sit together in a beautiful cauldron of ideas and offers.

I need to find a way for us creatives to stay true to our calling, to show up consistently so we are not confusing everyone around us (as I have been doing) while feeling as free as a bird to do what the hell we want.

While structure and routine is something us creatives REALLY don’t want.. it is sort of something we NEED in order to thrive. So it is finding a way for it to feel good at the same time so we have half a chance to stick to it.

Anyway I am due on a discovery call in 5 mins so best dash but before I do…

Don’t fight who you are, the way you think or what you believe. Start to embrace the messy, the weird and the inconsistency which appears. Love yourself enough to allow it to flow, to dance with the ideas in public and to reject the pressure to ‘settle’ down with any old idea before you are truly ready… and perhaps you will never be ready and that is ok too.

Sending lots of love

Victoria xxx

A step closer to owning my path

Hello lovely. So today I stepped a little into the scary truth and made this blog public. It has been my secret confidant for 4 months and have enjoyed writing to myself. I felt no pressure and yet at the same time I feel called to share my thoughts incase it helps others see that it is ok to not be ok.. it is normal to feel muddled and we shouldn’t allow this to hold us back.

The problem is that when we remain in the clutches of all these mind monkeys everything in our lives will feel so much harder. It will feel like we are pushing treacle up a hill with our eyes closed.

Also if we remain in hiding then we are no truly owning who we are which is no good for anyone. You are hiding from people who really need to hear your words and you are hiding from yourself who needs to hear those words more than anyone.

I find my writing helps me on so many levels… the fact it helps others is just a beautiful bonus.

When we share our thoughts they have less of a hold over us.

I feel vulnerable sharing my muddled thoughts with the world but am trusting that anyone who dares to lift the lid on my muddled mind and take a peak inside is struggling in the same way as me and will know how much kindness is needed in this judgy judgy world we find ourselves living in.

I also hope that others will come forward and share their thoughts here too… to help themselves with a little bit of pen and paper therapy but also to help others feel less alone.

I am weeks away from turning 40 and I fall to pieces around my birthdays. It sucks me under and makes the mind monkeys dance all over my brain but this year I am feeling excited to see the clock tick into my 40th year.. I have heard you care even less about what people think. Yay to that!!

I am feeling ready to stand up and be counted in the way I wish to be seen. I have spent a lifetime feeling confused about who I am and where I fit.. I still don’t know the answer and yet it worries me less and less… if I am meant to be in a field dancing in the flowers by myself then so be it. … I would rather that than fighting in the queues in shops fighting for crap I don’t even want.

Anyway… here is to being you, to being me and to both being fabulous.

My love as always

Victoria x

What if we stopped questioning?

What if we stopped questioning who we were, what we think and where we want to be?

A rose is a rose regardless of what it thinks… it blooms regardless of how it feels.

I find myself over thinking everything at all time. I totally freeze in fear as my head questions my actions over and over again.

Instead of waking up and exercising I lie there in a daze questioning whether I should get up and exercise, whether I should do it later or perhaps whether I should do it at all.

What if I just got up and did it. Counted to 5 and regardless of what I thought or felt.. I just did it.

Imagine how much more confident we would be if we could just get past the mind chatter and do it anyway?

So what do you wish you would just do… on repeat.. without question? What habit would you like to introduce (as that is what we are talking about here… when we develop some things we do without thinking) which would make your world a better place.

For me it is fitness. Health and fitness without a doubt…

I commit here and now that I will exercise each day… after I have had a good think 😉

Sending so much love,

Victoria x